I still see the looks on those beautiful kids’ faces.
I still feel the tears stinging the back of my eyes, blinking so the sweet kids wouldn’t see me break into a thousand tiny pieces of a shattered heart.
I still remember how wrong it felt.
This summer on my mission trip, we had to take our lunch breaks at the work site; that means we had to eat in front of these kids who had maybe 1 real meal a day, on a good day. There wasn’t a way around the problem though; we had to eat or we would pass out from exhaustion, and if we couldn’t work, the water house wouldn’t be built; the kids wouldn’t hear the gospel if our bodies couldn’t physically handle the surroundings due to lack of nutrition.
We couldn’t start handing out food in public or there would be a riot.
So we just had to eat and try not to cry knowing the kids in front of us would do anything for that sandwich.
As I ate, I remembered when I complained about what I ate for lunch in school; I remembered how many times I threw away food; I remembered how many times I counted calories–I had worried about not eating too much food when those kids worried about when they would ever eat a meal again. I remembered how little I had done to go feed God’s sheep.
And I still remember how it felt, knowing I had food and they didn’t.
I thought that feeling would go away when I got home.
Those kids don’t have to be in front of me for me to see their faces. I don’t have to hold the kids every day to remember how lightweight they were.
Every time I eat here in America, I get that same feeling. I know that I have food and they don’t. I know that I need to get up and change that. I know that I need to do something every day to make a difference.
Today, my pastor said that a believer who lives in awe of their God makes a thousand little decisions.
All those little decisions can make a difference in someone’s life or those little decisions can contribute to the deception of the devil, the lie that we can’t change the world for God’s glory.
And I heard my pastor read Acts 2:43-47 this morning. I heard the Lord speak through His word.
“They sold their property and possessions and shared the money with those in need.”
I heard that one sentence loud and clear.
And I thought about Senchayli, Israel, and Raylayni. They’re all still hungry. They have water now, but food is scarce.
Senchayli is hungry and so are God’s children in Uganda, halfway across the world, and so are God’s children in your own city, right next door.
God’s sheep are getting lost too, and when I step back and look at the world I live in, I’m ashamed of myself because it seems like a lot of us just watch His sheep get lost. We watch that little sheep walk straight into the den of a wolf and don’t do anything to save it.
“And each day the Lord added to their fellowship those who were being saved.” (vs 47)
That verse is so incredibly true; so many people came to Christ and praised God while we were in the bateys.
They worshipped the Lord over new flip-flops, hugs, clean water, and provision. They worshipped because God’s love and faithfulness was displayed right in front of them by His believers.
Lord, help me start making all my decisions for You. Let all my thousand little decisions reflect the decision I made to follow You. Amen.